


Five Times Jaehyun Doesn't Say Anything and the One Time He Does

by xuxicentric



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, jaehyun loves taeyong very much, jaehyun's feelings develops through the years, jongin is mentioned, like you won't even notice it, side!johnten, side!yuwin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 23:26:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15784302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xuxicentric/pseuds/xuxicentric
Summary: Five moments in their relationship where Jaehyun chooses to keep quiet and the one time he word vomits (kidding).





	Five Times Jaehyun Doesn't Say Anything and the One Time He Does

1.

Little Jaehyun sits on the grass beneath the huge cherry blossom tree on a spring day. The wind is blowing; it caresses his cheek, leaving a cold feeling on his soft, milky skin. He’s enjoying the afternoon looking at other children run around and about, but he doesn’t have the heart in him to join them because he’s not used to approaching other kids first. His mother has long given up urging him to go and have fun with other children because he wouldn’t budge, saying he’s having more fun by just looking at them play.

 

 _‘Must be nice to have friends to play with.’_ Seven-year-old Jaehyun thinks as he sighs, pulling grass from where he’s sitting.

 

“Hi! Why are you all alone?” A cheery voice startles Jaehyun, causing him to fall back down. The boy giggles and extends his hands towards Jaehyun, “Here! Let me help you up.” Jaehyun is hesitant, he hasn’t even given the boy a glance, but he sees in his peripheral vision that the boy’s hands are still there, stretched out, waiting for him to accept it.

 

He takes the boy’s hands.

 

Jaehyun dusts the grass of his clothes before he _finally_ looks at the boy, only to be mesmerized by him.

 

“Hi, my name’s Lee Taeyong!” The boy grins and extends his arms once more for Jaehyun, now for a different reason.

 

Jaehyun could only stare at Taeyong who’s still smiling at him. The latter grabs his hands and shakes it, making Jaehyun quite flustered at Taeyong’s sudden action. “Play with me!”

 

Taeyong runs away from Jaehyun, but not long before looking back to see if Jaehyun has run after him. When he sees his playmate just timidly standing from the same spot, he shouts, “Come on, run after me!”

 

Jaehyun thinks for a moment and decides to just go and play with Taeyong. He tells his mother he’ll be back in a while to play before running after the older. He sees Taeyong’s smile reaching his eyes.

 

And at that moment, Jaehyun swears in his whole life that the boy he’s running after in this very moment is the most beautiful person he’s seen in his entire life, maybe even for the rest of it.

 

But Jaehyun doesn’t say anything to Taeyong.

 

Instead, he runs after him with laughter escaping from his lips.

 

2.

“Hey.” Sicheng pats Jaehyun’s shoulder as he sits down beside him. But Jaehyun doesn’t even give his friend a spare glance; he’s nervous, his thoughts are all over the place and though he’s sure nothing would go wrong, he can’t help but feel worried for his best friend who’s about to perform in a few minutes. Sicheng glances at him and lets out a small chuckle. “You’re not the one performing, Jaehyun.”

 

Jaehyun shoots him a glare in retaliation, “I’m nervous for Taeyong hyung, Sicheng. It’s his last performance before he graduates.”

 

“Lucky for me, my man’s last _performance_ is on the field and we both know no one can beat Nakamoto Yuta.”

 

“Taeyong hyung’s not my man, Sicheng. I’ve told you countless of times already.”

 

“Not _yet._ ”

 

Jaehyun wants to punch Sicheng in the face but he decides to forget it when he sees Johnny Seo, Taeyong’s classmate and friend, walking down the stage and sitting himself in front of the grand piano. The lights are killed and the only one that’s working is the spotlight shining on Johnny. The senior begins to play the keys and Jaehyun hears the familiar melody he’s been hearing from outside of the dance practice room. He’s banned from there until further notice, Ten says, because Taeyong can’t seem to focus well whenever Jaehyun stops by to visit.

 

Not long after, another light flickers, showing Taeyong at the center of the stage.

 

Taeyong moves gracefully to Johnny’s melody, not even missing a note. He dances like he was born for this, like he was made for this and only this. And Jaehyun can’t help but stare at the man on stage with awe and admiration. He feels his eyes glisten with tears but he doesn’t care; he’s so focused on Taeyong he doesn’t even notice Sicheng laughing at him. Jaehyun’s heart begins to beat so fast he thinks he’s going to faint, but he knows Taeyong is the reason why.

 

After the show, he immediately walks over to where the performers are and spots Taeyong sitting beside Johnny and Ten while silently listening to whatever they’re saying. Jaehyun sees his best friend’s tired eyes and just wants to pick him up and carry him home because he wants him to rest properly. He wants to take care of Taeyong, pamper him, cook him the snacks he likes, put him to bed and sing him songs to lull him to sleep. He comes closer, but Taeyong doesn’t seem to notice Jaehyun’s figure standing in front of him.

 

So Jaehyun holds his hand out to Taeyong, just like what Taeyong did back when they first met.

 

Taeyong instinctively reaches for Jaehyun’s hands and pulls himself up to embrace Jaehyun and feel the warmth of his best friend.

 

It’s not like this is the first time they’ve ever hugged, and it’s not the first time Jaehyun has felt something in him tug whenever they did, _but_ it is the first time Jaehyun, while hugging his best friend, the very same person who became his first real friend, realizes that he _likes_ Lee Taeyong.

 

Not the ‘like’ you would feel for your all of your friends.

 

But like _like._

 

But Jaehyun doesn’t say anything.

 

Instead, he wraps his arms around Taeyong and kisses the top of his head before whispering, “You did so well today, hyung.”

 

3.

It’s been a month since they’ve last seen in each other and Jaehyun can’t help but feel empty. Sure, they message each other regularly to ask about their days and the like but Jaehyun knows this set-up isn’t enough for him. He needs to see Taeyong, he wants to hold his best friend close because being near him makes Jaehyun feel at peace.

“Stop moping around, loser.” Ten throws a popcorn at him and it hits Jaehyun right on his forehead. “Does Taeyong not text you?”

“First of all, it’s Taeyong _hyung_ to you, Ten. Second, he does. It’s just that—“

“Texting is never enough for Jaehyun, Ten.” Sicheng slides in beside Jaehyun and pops a popcorn into his mouth. “He needs to be around Taeyong. 24/7 if possible.”

His two friends laugh at him and Jaehyun just wants to disappear. At times like these Jaehyun rethinks the reason why he’s friends with these two because all they ever do is laugh at him.

“Why haven’t you confessed, Jaehyun?” Said man chokes on his own before looking at Ten who’s waiting for an answer. “Well?”

“H-how would you know?”

“Well for starters, if you already did, Taeyong would be—What the fuck, Sicheng?” Jaehyun sees Sicheng communicating with Ten through their eyes, as if they don’t want Jaehyun to know _something._ Ten seems to have understood whatever Sicheng was trying to tell him because as soon as Jaehyun caught his gaze, Ten dismissed him and started to talk about Johnny.

And right after Ten mentioned Johnny’s name, Sicheng pulled Jaehyun’s arm to get his attention. “Has Taeyong hyung told you about his admirer?”

_What?_

“Dong Sicheng!” Ten hissed at Sicheng who only shrugged him off, eyes still focusing on Jaehyun.

“Admirer? What admirer?”

“Well Yuta and I were out on a double date with Ten and Johnny the other day and Johnny told us about that guy, what was his name again? Jongin? He’s a year ahead of them but he’s seen with Taeyong lots of times now. Yuta says the guy’s been picking Taeyong up from his classes and taking him out to eat.”

Jaehyun can practically hear his blood boil. He’s angry? Frustrated? Annoyed? He’s not sure. But something inside of him just _popped_ and he knows it’s not good. Ten and Sicheng see Jaehyun’s fist clench and they both smirk, knowing that whatever was going to happen, things would go interesting from that point on.

“We’re still on for later right? Going to their university?”

* * *

 

He has calmed down. After a few hours of classes and deep breaths, he’s sure he’s calmed himself down. In fact, Jaehyun’s excited to see Taeyong after a whole month of not seeing each other. He’s walking with Ten and Sicheng to the university because Taeyong’s (and Johnny’s and Yuta’s) classes just ended and they know the three are waiting for them outside.

Still a few meters away from the gate but Jaehyun could already spot Taeyong and his two friends standing outside and waiting for them. He feels his heart race as soon as he sees his best friend and begins to walk faster because he _wants_ to hold Taeyong in his arms again and to say how he misses him.

But he stops.

Jaehyun freezes on his spot.

Why?

Kim Jongin (yes, Jaehyun stalked his accounts a little over a while ago, what about it?) is there. Talking to Taeyong.

They’re laughing with each other.

Jaehyun feels his heart drop.

“Jaehyun?” He hears Sicheng call him. But he ignores it.

And then it happens.

Jaehyun sees Kim Jongin reach for Taeyong’s hand. He holds it while he’s staring right into Taeyong’s eyes, talking to him, saying something Jaehyun can’t seem to understand. And the burning feeling he felt earlier that day flickered again, and so Jaehyun walked towards them, his insides eating themselves up because fuck, he’s never felt anything like this before and he’s scared. He’s scared that Taeyong might be taken away from him and he doesn’t want that to happen. He wants to be everything to Taeyong and because he knows Taeyong is his everything, but this guy right here might just let his dreams crumble.

Jaehyun breathes deeply before he stands beside Taeyong who immediately feels his presence. “Jae!” He sees Taeyong pull his hand away from Kim Jongin in a split second and flashes Jaehyun an awkward smile. “You’re here.” Jaehyun takes Taeyong’s hand in his but he doesn’t spare him a glance. He does look at the very guy who’s trying to make a move on his _best friend_ as if he’s telling him to _back off because it’s never going to happen with Taeyong_. He then walks away, pulling Taeyong with him, not minding the others who’s gawking at them (except for Ten and Sicheng who are silently giggling and cheering for Jaehyun).

They’ve reached quite a distance before Taeyong decides to pull his hand away from Jaehyun, who’s still very much in flames because of what just happened. “What the hell, Jaehyun?”

Jaehyun sees disappointment and confusion and Taeyong’s eyes and he doesn’t want that, but he can’t seem to tell Taeyong whatever he’s feeling right now because he’s not ready. He’s afraid everything will go into shambles if he admits that he doesn’t like the fact that there’s someone trying to take Taeyong’s heart away from him. He looks down and runs his hand through his hair because he’s thinking of excuses to tell Taeyong but he fails to think of anything because he looks up and sees Taeyong crying.

Taeyong is crying.

 _No._ Jaehyun thinks. _No, please don’t cry._

Taeyong is in front of him, crying.

Jaehyun tries to pull Taeyong into his arms like he’d usually do but Taeyong pushes himself away from him and Jaehyun is pained because of his best friend’s action. Taeyong has never pushed himself away from Jaehyun like that. Like he doesn’t want to be anywhere near Jaehyun.

“Yong.” Jaehyun calls him out softly. “Yong, I’m sorry.”

“Why did you do that, Jaehyun?”

“Yong, I didn’t mean to, I swear, I was just so angry and I didn’t think right and I let my feelings get ahead of me and—“

“Angry? Why?” Jaehyun hears a hint of frustration and annoyance in Taeyong’s tone and he didn’t like it one bit. He’s so used to hearing Taeyong all cheery and bubbly and not like _this_ , never like this.

“I-I’ve heard from Sicheng that the guy’s been pursuing you and seeing it with my own two eyes just made me so, so _mad._ You’ve never mentioned him to me, not even once, Yong. How was I supposed to know how to react?”

“He’s no one, Jaehyun. That’s why I’ve never brought him up when we talk because I’d rather hear about your day, what you ate, what you’re doing and whatever that it is about you than talk about him! I’m not interested in him, Jaehyun!”

“It doesn’t look like that to me, Taeyong!” At this point, Jaehyun’s on the verge of just telling Taeyong everything because he’s tired of making up excuses and reasons. He’s tired of hiding these feelings but he doesn’t want to lose Taeyong. Ever.

“I like you, you idiot!” Jaehyun felt his world stop. “If it isn’t obvious yet to you! I mean, are you that dense to not even have an idea?”

“Y-you like me?”

“Yes, so would you stop acting so fucking jealous? Wait.” Taeyong looks at him with eyes that have so much to say but he looks like he’s holding back so much. “You aren’t, are you?”

_Yes I am, Yong. I’m so damn jealous_

But Jaehyun doesn’t say anything.

Instead, he pulls Taeyong close and kisses him.

 

4.

“Hey baby.” Jaehyun softly whispers to Taeyong who’s on the other side of the line. “I bet you miss me, hm?” He hears his boyfriend’s (yes, it happened that same day Jaehyun kissed Taeyong for the very first time) chuckle and to Jaehyun, that’s enough to keep him motivated for the rest of the day. It’s been a little over four months since they’ve been together officially and they’ve never felt happier. Everyday has been a gift to Jaehyun because he wakes up knowing that there’s someone in his life named Lee Taeyong who’s the main source of happiness in his life.

“Mm, I do.” Jaehyun grins to himself and begins to plan on giving Taeyong a surprise visit later that day. “Don’t you have classes, Jae?”

“I do, it’s in five minutes. But this time’s your only vacant for today, right? I wanted to hear your voice.” He hears Taeyong giggle on the other end again and he can’t help but blush because Taeyong _rarely_ giggles and they’re music to Jaehyun’s ears. “I miss you, Yong.”

“We’ll see each other at the end of the week, yeah? Now, go back to class, Jae. I miss you, so much.” Taeyong replies before he ends the call.

Jaehyun stares at Taeyong’s picture on his phone and smiles to himself before calling for Sicheng. “I’m heading over to the university later, you going?”

* * *

 

Jaehyun is lost. He doesn’t know where the dance room is and he can’t ask Taeyong where it is because he wants to surprise him. He’s too hesitant to ask random people and he can’t seem to contact Yuta at the moment.

“Yong’s fries are about to get all soggy.” Jaehyun pouts, thinking about how Taeyong hates soggy fries and how he’d put every single one to Jaehyun’s plate and snatches all the crispy ones from his boyfriend’s plate.

“Jaehyun? What are you doing here?” Jaehyun turns around to see Johnny holding a stack of papers on his hand. “Taeyong’s at the dance room.”

“Yeah, about that. Do you happen to know where that is?”

Johnny could only laugh at his friend. “It’s on the second floor of that building. 5th room to the left.”

“Thanks, Johnny!” Jaehyun doesn’t wait any longer; he brisk walks to where Taeyong is and he can’t help but smile at the thought of his boyfriend looking happy once he sees him.

He enters the room and finds Taeyong alone, dancing to some pop music he’s heard before. He stands behind him and waits until Taeyong sees his reflection on the mirror. He doesn’t make any sound because he doesn’t want to disturb Taeyong’s momentum. He looks so ethereal, so unreal, and though Jaehyun has watched him dance countless of times, Jaehyun would always get starstruck.

It doesn’t take Taeyong too long before he notices his boyfriend standing behind him, smiling as he stares at him dance. “Jae? What are you doing here?” Taeyong breaks out a goofy grin and makes his way to Jaehyun, _his_ Jaehyun.

“My boyfriend says he misses me, so why not take a small visit to see him?” Jaehyun wraps his arms around Taeyong and the latter snuggles into the taller’s chest, taking in every scent, every warmth, every aura Jaehyun emanates. Taeyong then sees the bag of food Jaehyun has on his hand and immediately frees himself from Jaehyun’s embrace to take the food away. “You’re the best, Jae.”

Jaehyun follows Taeyong, who’s now sitting down on the floor and laughs, “You like food better than me now?”

The older sticks a tongue out before munching on whatever Jaehyun had brought him. “I really needed these. You really do know me best.”

He could only look at Taeyong with warm eyes and a full, happy heart. There’s something in him that yearns for moments like these when he sees Taeyong looking so happy and contented, like he’s never going to ask for anything more than this because he knows this is everything he could ask for. As he continues to watch Taeyong, a thought suddenly crosses his mind.

_I love him._

Jaehyun used to imagine the moment he’d realize he loves Taeyong more than anything in the world. He fantasizes that it would happen in really romantic way, like when they’re on a date, or like the time when he discovers he has feelings for Taeyong romantically when the older is on stage, doing what he loves and what he’s passionate about.

But Jaehyun would never exchange this moment with any other. It’s like he has loved Taeyong for a long time now but he’s only recognized that it’s love right at this moment.

_I love you, Taeyong._

He looks at him lovingly; Taeyong smiles at him with a grin that fills his entire heart.

But Jaehyun doesn’t say anything.

Instead, he smiles back at Taeyong too.

 

5.

“Jaehyun?” He hears Taeyong call his name as soon as he steps into their shared apartment. Jaehyun makes a beeline for the kitchen and finds Taeyong there, finishing up their meal. “Hey.”

 

“Hi, baby. Long day at work?” Jaehyun wraps his hands around Taeyong from the latters back and places his chin on Taeyong’s shoulder. He mumbles a soft ‘hmm’ and sighs contentedly. If this is what he comes home to after a day’s hard work, every energy he’s lost for the entire day would be worth it.

 

Taeyong taps his hands and as if on cue, Jaehyun untangles his hands from his boyfriend and starts to put out the plates for supper. They begin to eat and talk about their day, like they’d normally do.

 

“Hey, Yuta and Sicheng just sent their invitations in for their wedding.” Taeyong reminds Jaehyun of their friends’ upcoming wedding. “Johnny’s best man.”

 

“Yeah ‘cause Ten wouldn’t want me to be best man and Sicheng sure as hell doesn’t want Ten to be theirs because he knows he’ll try to outshine the couple themselves.” Taeyong laughs, agreeing with what his boyfriend said.

 

“I’ll do the dishes tonight, Yong. You need to take some rest.” Jaehyun takes the used plates to the sink and starts to wash them when he feels Taeyong tiptoe beside him and places a small kiss on his cheek. “I love you, Jae. Go to bed soon, hm?”

* * *

 

Jaehyun and Taeyong sit hand-in-hand while they listen to the ceremony happening at front. Today was Yuta and Sicheng’s day and the both of them couldn’t feel anything but genuine happiness for the friends; that finally, after everything, they reached their endpoint to start a new chapter of their lives.

 

 “Sicheng,” Yuta starts off, “the first time I met you, you rolled your eyes at me.” The place erupted with laughter and Sicheng, who was crying so much ever since the ceremony started, couldn’t help but laugh and punch Yuta lightly on his arm. “But who knew those pair of eyes could mean the world to me now? Your eyes that hold so much meaning and so many feelings that sometimes I wonder if I could ever be enough to understand them all.” Jaehyun hears Yuta’s voice shake. “I would always doubt if I was enough for you, if I was worthy to be called yours, to be a part of your life but you have never, not even once, made me feel as if I was not. Thank you, Sicheng, for the seven years we’ve spent together Now, I don’t have to count anymore because I know we’ll spend the rest of our lives in each other’s warmth. Thank you for giving me you because you’re the best gift in my whole entire life. I love you, Sicheng.”

Sicheng cried so much he couldn’t speak for a few minutes. Everyone was silent, everyone was touched, everyone looked at the couple in front with so much admiration and love because everyone in that place knew how much they deserved each other.

 

Jaehyun hears Taeyong sniffle. He turns his attention to his crying boyfriend and wipes his tears away with his thumb. “You doing alright, babe?”

 

Taeyong nods and takes Jaehyun’s hand back to his. He rests his head on Jaehyun’s shoulders as they continued to listen to the exchange of vows.

 

Jaehyun stares at Yuta and Sicheng in front and thinks about how they’ll spend the rest of their lives together now. He thinks it’s beautiful and he wants the same thing. But the thing is, Jaehyun doesn’t just want the same thing.

 

He wants it with Taeyong.

 

Lee Taeyong. His Taeyong. His best friend. His boyfriend. His everything.

 

He wants all of this with him.

 

He wants to spend his whole life with Taeyong beside him, too.

 

But Jaehyun doesn’t say anything.

 

Instead, he holds Taeyong’s hands tighter than ever.

 

 

+1

“Jung Jaehyun, for my every smile, my every laughter, my every tear, my every everything, you’ve been there. No matter how difficult I was being, no matter how stubborn I was, no matter how much nagging I did to you, you stayed. And despite every flaw, every mistake, and every stupid thing I did, you still loved me with every bit of your being, and I—I cannot thank you enough for that.” Taeyong started to cry and god, Jaehyun wants to hold him close right now but he can’t. He knows if he does, Taeyong won’t stop for at least twenty more minutes and their guests are waiting for what he’s going to say next. Jaehyun does the next best thing though: he takes Taeyong’s hands and intertwines them with his. He feels Taeyong relax a little after that.

“You mean the world to me, Jaehyun. And I cannot express how much love is overflowing from my heart for you right now. Thank you for never giving up on me, baby. Thank you for choosing me, out of billions, thank you for choosing me. I love you, Jung Jaehyun. So much, more than anything and anyone.”

_I love you, Taeyong. So much, too._

And this time, Jaehyun says it. In words he never thought he’d say.

“I’m not good with words. I’d rather really express my feelings and thoughts through actions but I know that sometimes, words are needed to convey what I really feel. And today, I stand in front of you, Taeyong, with people dear to us witnessing how I profess my undying love for you in words that are never enough to actually represent how much I feel for you. But for today, I hope this will be the start of how I can express these feelings deep within me to you.”

Jaehyun breathes and looks at Taeyong, who’s mouthing him the words ‘ _I love you’_ to send him strength.

God, he loves this man so much.

“Lee Taeyong, ever since I met you I’ve become better. Not only in one way, but in every way possible, I think. It’s because of you that I’ve met wonderful people in my life, it’s because of you that I’ve made choices that helped me as I grew, it’s because of you that I have learned to love myself, too because who would have thought someone like you who shines so much could ever love someone like me whose dim lights darken even more when seen? You’ve given me so much hope, so much happiness, and so much love that sometimes, I don’t think I deserve those anymore. But you make me feel that I do. You’ve been a part of me ever since I could remember and I’m marrying you today because I want to promise you that you will never lose me. That I will take this chance of forever to make you feel the same way you made me feel. I’m marrying you because I want to love you in every way possible because that is what you deserve, Taeyong. And for this lifetime, I will promise you that I will never get tired of giving you every bit of love that I have in my system because they are all for you. Only for you.”

Taeyong embraces Jaehyun and cries in his _husband’s_ chest and Jaehyun, the same Jung Jaehyun who has only shed a tear twice (both are because of Taeyong too) lets a few tears drop because he thinks it’s a good way to release the happiness he’s feeling right now.

“I love you, Lee Taeyong. Let me prove to you my love, starting today until all our next lifetimes.”

Jaehyun promises to love Taeyong with all that he can.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I'm so happy for the positive feedback on my first fic! Thank you all so much! This was made with love from me to you~
> 
> drop by and say hi on the comments or on my twitter account with the same handle, @xuxicentric
> 
> thank you~


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